london
Words and photography by anselm lowe jr
United Kingdom
London, England
Wednesday, November 27,2019 - Sunday December 1, 2019
I’m gonna sum it up for you nice and quick. People aren’t really sure where London got its name. What I can tell you is that the city was founded by the Romans in 45 AD and has faced hardships ever since. But those hardships have transformed London into one hell of a city.
For this trip, I stayed at the Native Monument hotel located on Lovat Lane on the North Side of the Thames. It’s steps away from the Monument tube station, and in the event that station may be closed (which happened to us as we were there during the terrorist attack on Black Friday) you’re only a short walk from the Tower Hill Station as well. If you’re after some sight-seeing, the London Tower and Tower Bridge are only a half-mile walk up the road. There are also no shortage of pubs, restaurants and coffee shops within a minute walk of the hotel’s front door. It’s hard to beat this hotel’s location. Especially for the price.
THE ACTIVITIES
Whether you like history, sports or taking pictures for the ‘gram, London has no shortage of things to do. Yes, there’s the changing of the guard and taking a picture in a phone booth but I’m sure about a thousand people have told you to do that by now. Instead, try these other options on for size
If you’re a history buff, or just have an affinity for dimly lit cramped places then check out the Churchill War Rooms. Be sure to buy tickets ahead of time (£22 for adults) to avoid being stuck outside in the rain waiting for the next entry group. The tour is self-guided; be sure to grab a handheld tour guide to get the most out of the experience, or else you’ll find yourself just looking at some old cups and tables with no real explanation. If you’re interested, you can read a little more and purchase your tickets here.
Who doesn’t love themselves a good art museum? The National Gallery in Trafalgar Square is a great way to kill an afternoon. And with a suggested donation of £10, it’s teeeecccchhhnically free!
Not into history or art? Well, alright you fucking Cro-Magnon. Hop the tube to the Camden Town station and give the Camden Markets a go. Be sure to go earlier in the day (around 2 PM or so) because even though the hours on Google say “10:00 AM til ‘Late’”, it still closes early AF**. Despite some of the attractions closing early though… THIS PLACE IS THE SHIT! Hungry? There’s tacos, and sausages, a whole ALLEY of Italian food, a few east Asian inspired places, even calamari. Thirsty? They’ve got that too. Both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages can be found here. There’s even a micro-distillery in there that apparently offers Gin classes. It’s not just food though, you can track down anything from hand made leather goods, to old vinyl records and some pretty weird crap in between.
**(To be fair, we rolled in around 6:30 PM on a Thursday; but a lot of shops and restaurants had already rolled in their carpets and closed up shop for the night)
If you’ve spent the whole day walking, then stop and take a load off on the London Eye. I’d recommend booking a time later in the evening in an attempt to miss out on the line. If you’re willing to splurge the extra £7, then the flexi Fastpass is well worth the investment. This allows you turn up to the line any time during operating hours and use the Fastpass line kinda like Disney. The Views are amazing, and while it’s definitely worth it to take a picture or two, be sure to take the time to just sit back and enjoy the shit out of it.
Big Horology fan? Well then buddy, hop the train to Greenwich and peep the national observatory (banner photo above). There’s more than just watches though. Pay the fee, take the tour, and make a stop at the main attraction…. The Prime Meridian!
Honorable mentions in the speed tourist bucket list category include taking the train over to Paris for the day (be sure to book tickets super far in advance because Jesus H. do prices get expensive) or take a bus tour to Stonehenge. Worth it for sure, and very affordable.
THE FOOD
A big misconception is that the food in the UK is absolute rubbish. To be fair, this trip was fueled almost solely by protein bars and gummy bears, but don’t let that fool you! The food is GREAT. I’ve already mentioned the Camden Markets and all the food that it has to offer. There’s also a Boxipark in Shoreditch, and of course, some good ol’ fashioned pub food.
I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but this trip may have turned me into one. For those willing to step outside of their comfort zone and try something other than Starbucks, stop in and give their blends a try.
THE DRINKS
Listen to me: head over to Shoreditch and check out Lounge Bohemia; it’s a cocktail bar. I promise you WILL NOT be disappointed. I’m not going to give you any real details. Just go to their website, call the number for information, (the number and address are written on the paper on the right side if you can’t find it; that’s the only clue I’ll give you) and just go. It’s an experience you’ll be talking about for a LONG time to come.
If you’ve got more time to kill in the Shoreditch area, mosey on over to London Shuffle Club for drinks and shuffleboard. And not just the shitty tabletop shuffleboard, I’m talking on the floor, retirement home-style SHUFFLEBOARD. And if it’s anything like the Royal Palms in Brooklyn, then this place is going to be fun as hell. Be sure to contact them ahead of time and reserve a court though, because places like fill up quickly and you don’t want to just sit there watching people have fun. You wanna be IN IT! AMIRITE?!
*Full disclosure, I didn’t get a chance to make it to the London Shuffleboard Club First hand, and Lounge Bohemia was visited on another trip.
THE TRANSIT
The tube system is PROBABLY my favorite public transportation system that I’ve interacted with to date, and this is coming from a New Yorker. Now; full disclosure, it seems as though you can now use contactless credit cards (and/ or mobile payment services i.e apple pay) and depending on the zone you tap on and off in, your fare is capped at a certain amount each day. The big caveat is that you have to tap on and off with the same card in the same method of payment. Learn from my mistakes because my dumb ass bought an unlimited 7 travel card for a four-day trip because I was too busy to do the research. I could have saved myself about £50 if I had just DONE MORE RESEARCH. With the tube system in mind, consider using it to get to and from the airport depending on where you’re staying. The Heathrow Express is super convenient, but that convenience also comes with a price so if you’re not in a rush, consider the subways an option.
NOW with that being said; it doesn’t matter which method of rail you travel you’re going to need to get TO the tracks from the tarmac. I don’t know which terminal you’ll be coming in from (I came into Terminal 3 on Delta) but it’s not always obvious. The signs don’t really indicate where you need to go, but once you come through the duty-free bit, walk straight and then take a SLIGHT right, again without going outside. There will be a ramp taking you downward. Follow that around and you’ll be on your way. If you can’t find it, don’t feel bad; because I sure as shit couldn’t. Ask an airport employee and they’ll be more than happy to point you in the right direction.
Once you’re on the subways though, it’s simple to navigate. Each station easily outlines which stops are in which direction and finding your way to said tracks is a breeze. Just be warned that there’s no heat in the stations in the winter so don’t expect to use them as a safe haven from the cold when the temperatures start to drop.
THE T.L.D.R.
London is a beautiful city, rich with history and plenty of activities. You certainly won’t be able to experience all it has to offer in a weekend, or probably even in a week, but don’t let that deter you. Use it as an excuse to return time and time again (if you’re that kind of traveler). The subway is simple to use and the drinks are affordable. Now stop reading this and start planning your trip! But remember. Travel smart, travel safe, travel. Simplified.
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